11 Year Old You!
I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy lately and a new dream is forming on my heart. I want to impact tween girls so that their lives are forever changed through personal development.
As an eleven year old girl, I was 5’2” and 210lbs. Not exactly the epitome of health or confidence! I always had great friends in school, but I was also always very self-conscious and would longingly look at my friend’s tiny waistlines and wonder what it was like to be skinny. I would long to be the one running the track and “own the room” like some of the popular girls in my class.
Looking back, I’m so glad that I went through that awkward period in my life because I believe it has shaped me to be the person I am today. I can have compassion when people struggle with their weight. I know what it’s like to feel stuck, not knowing where to start.
I’m sharing this because I believe that most tween girls are experiencing the same pain and frustration of comparison and I want to make a difference in their lives. I was introduced to personal development when I was in my early twenties and I can only imagine what life would have looked like, had I known a few things sooner. Here’s what I would have told my eleven year old self.
- Your mindset is everything
One of the biggest lessons in personal development is that you become what you think about. What you focus on grows, so stop focusing on what you don’t want and start focusing on what you do want. You must control your thinking to control your life as Earl Nightingale taught over fifty years ago, and it continues to be a universal and unchanging law.
- Watch your language B!
This isn’t about watching your cussing; this is about watching the way you speak to yourself. Growing up my internal dialogue wasn’t so supportive. “You’re fat”. “You’ll have to really work at losing weight and keeping it off your whole life”. “You’re not athletic”. Well, I can tell you that the answer to each of those stories I created is absolute and utter nonsense. I’m in better shape now than I ever was growing up, I’m an athlete and I have a healthy relationship with food and love my body. Words I never thought I would say out loud in my life. The shift started in changing the story and the words that I was telling myself. You can change your story today. Decide what you want to be and then reinforce that image of yourself. Whenever the nasty narrative starts up, tell it to shut up and replace it out loud with the words that describe the person you’re becoming.
- Don’t worry about what the teacher says
Teachers do their best with the limited time and resources they have and often when they are trying to help they mess you up with the limited self beliefs that they have and categorizing students when they have no business doing so. Don’t worry if your teacher tells you that you’re not creative, or that you’re not “college material”. Listen to your inner voice that tells you which path you should pursue. Many challenging students became some of the most influential people of our time like Richard Branson and Les Brown.
- A boyfriend is the cherry on top not the Sundae!
I focused a lot on boys when I was in school. My self-confidence hinged on whether I was in a relationship and to be honest, I was often in one just to feel like I had some worth. You are worthy just as you are! You have everything you need to make yourself a massive success. You have been given gifts and talents and a life story that only you can share with the world and bring to your career. There is nothing missing from your life that needs to be filled. There is no void that a boy will fill. You build your self-confidence by keeping the promises that you make to yourself. Each time you tell yourself you will eat clean food, workout or study and you do it, you put a deposit in the self-confidence bank. You build your self-confidence and then when your bank is full, meeting a boy will be the biggest cherry on top!
- Focus on your own path
Comparison is the thief of all joy. If your friends go off to university to become lawyers, doctors and accountants and your path is unknown, it’s okay. Keep your eyes on your own path. Don’t worry about what others are up to. You are destined to impact thousands of lives. Stay open, curious, learn, and grow. Your answer will come.
- You will conquer every challenge you’re up against
You have survived every challenge you’ve been faced with so far in life and spoiler alert… there are more to come, and you’ll conquer those too. It won’t be easy. Sometimes you’ll feel frustrated, lonely, and sad but ultimately everything will work out. Trust in the process. You may not have the strength to face the challenges that will come up twenty years from now, but the challenges you’re facing this year is preparing you for that very task one day. They are bricks in the foundation so that you will become a pillar of strength when people around you are falling a part. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for!
- Stay relentless, positive, and dangerously optimistic
You’re going to cross paths with so many amazing people during your lifetime. Some will bring joy and energy to your life and others will zap your energy and happiness. Use your time wisely. Let your core values be your compass and guide who you spend your time with. Your intuition will guide you. Stay surrounded by positive people who believe in possibility thinking. Stay relentless in your pursuit. You will want to give up, that’s when it’s most important to stay focused on your goal and keep going. Lastly, people will criticize you and say that you’ve got your head in the clouds when things are falling apart at the seams. Just keep a smile on your face. Remain optimistic, stay focused on what is working instead of what’s not working. It takes tremendous courage to remain positive and optimistic. Remember that those who criticize optimism don’t have the same strength you do.
- Giving will fill your soul
On my personal development journey, I have learned from influencers that the secret living is giving. You’ll find this out for yourself. You’ll be astonished at the sheer joy that comes from helping others anonymously or transforming lives by the lessons that you will share with your friends, families, colleagues and perhaps people you choose to mentor in the future. Sure, you’ll love the rewards that you get because of your hard work but the exhilaration from making someone else’s life easier because of your contributions… life-changing!
- Don’t dim your light for anyone
Your future is brighter than you could ever imagine so don’t you dare settle for mediocrity! In life, people will think you’re crazy and over-the-top for taking on big challenges, setting huge dreams and then becoming obsessive about achieving them. You will also live a life that many won’t if you commit to this very pursuit. Don’t dim your light for anyone, shine bright, be bold, be kind, be courageous but most importantly be authentically you!
