Destructive Lies I used to tell myself

Personal development is such an important and life-changing journey.  To pursue mastery of oneself requires deep reflection, challenging limiting beliefs and releasing lies we may have told ourselves up to this point in life.

Our words are incredibly powerful and what we say to ourselves matters much more than what others say to us. While others may wound our ego and hurt our feelings or sharp words may jeopardize relationships, the most important dialogue is internal.

I struggled for years with self-deprecating language, lies and stories that didn’t support my growth. Once I released the grip that these lies had on my life my world opened to more positivity living, healthier relationships and increased self-confidence.

Here are some of the lies that I told myself, see if any of them resonate with you…

• It takes money to make money.
• You’re only beautiful if you’re a size six.
• You’re not leadership material.
• Who do you think you are sharing your insights with others? No one will listen.
• You will always need to watch what you eat, or you’ll be overweight.
• You’ll never walk alone again after experiencing trauma.
• You don’t deserve to earn that kind of money.
• Be content with what you have. Being too ambitious is selfish.

Perhaps it’s lies that our well-meaning parents tell us. I lost my dad last August and I smile when I think back to some of our conversations.  He always ended each call with “Don’t work too hard!”. This was his way of telling me that he cared about me and wanted me to look after myself. Deep down I knew that he greatly admired hard work and discipline. But what if I had taken that to heart? What if I pumped the breaks just a little, took my foot off the throttle just a little to appease him? Chances are someone in your life has made well-meaning comments like “Don’t work too hard” or “Be careful”. After time it can seep in if we don’t control our inner dialogue.

Having a strong inner dialogue doesn’t happen by chance.  Like all personal development and high-performance living, it must be intentional. Perhaps you’re not aware of just how often that internal dialogue influences you.  If so, I’d encourage you to bring awareness to it.  Make a note of every self-deprecating lie or negative language you use today, this week, this month. Keep a journal and put a time stamp on it. This can be an emotional experience but it’s critical to bringing to light its destructive force!

Next and more importantly, select a phrase, mantra or affirmation that will replace the negative narrative. What do you want to feel today? How would you describe your best self? What would the highest version of you display as character attributes?  Write those down, keep them close and read them often. Remember words are powerful.  If the voice is speaking anyhow, why not create an empowering and supportive one, cheering you on to do your best!

While we may have had lies told to us by others or we’re telling them to ourselves, it’s imperative that we take ownership and re-write the script. It wasn’t until I confronted these lies head on, forgave myself for saying them and believing them, that I realized that I was stuck.  How will you use your words to positively impact others and most importantly your self-confidence today?