Ego vs Intentional Leadership
When I’m afraid or feeling stressed my ego takes over! Bold statement, I know, but it’s true. I show up rude, sarcastic and I can be short with people. When I’m leading as my best self and I’m intentional about how I want to show up as a leader, it’s a totally different story.
I’d venture to guess that as a leader, you may be able to relate. When you’re under pressure you just want things done and done properly with minimal questions and minimal interruptions so you can work on what’s most important. This happens to most of us when we’re in reactive mode vs. being proactive and intentional.
Here are some telltale signs that I’m under pressure and my ego has taken over…
I assume the worst intentions. I have moments where I doubt the intentions of those around me and question if my team did all that they could in a situation vs. assuming the best in others.
When I’m operating from my ego, my ideas are the best. I leave little room for collaboration. In fact, when I run a meeting and Ms. Ego is at play, I often know what outcome I want. Instead of going to a meeting with an open mind and willingness to collaborate, I already have my heart set on my idea and I’m truthfully just bringing people to the table to convince them that my idea is the best. What an opportunity missed for creative ideas, teamwork and collaboration!
A good indication that ego has taken over is our knee-jerk reaction to be irritated when our ideas are challenged. When we’re operating as our best selves, we welcome challenge and recognize that being challenged is healthy and cultivates courage in our cultures. It can also save us from being derailed from potential disaster!
As leaders, we tend to micromanage when the heat is on! When we’re under the gun to meet a deadline or we’re facing financial pressures we can be all over our team for quick answers and to produce. We tend to tell, direct or even command instead of coming from a place of curiosity and collaboration.
I can also be self-centered and focus on my own growth and personal development rather than considering the entire team. Being a naturally independent person, I need to be hypervigilant that when I’m fearful I can leave others in my wake and storm ahead instead of investing in my team’s growth and development. I also need to be careful about my communication. I naturally regress when I’m feeling the pressure. I desperately need thinking time, time alone to process and I’m one of those people who cannot handle feeling my personal space being invaded. All that said, when my ego shows up, I can limit communication and withdraw. When I’m intentional and recognize when my ego has reared its ugly head, I know it’s time to level up my communication and transparency so people know what I’m navigating.
When our plates are full of issues, it’s extremely difficult to create space for other peoples’ problems, isn’t it? When I first started my leadership journey, I didn’t give a RIP what was going on in my employees’ lives. I wanted them to show up and put up and leave their personal issues at the door and just produce already! While I’ve come a long way (thankfully) and recognize that intentional leaders see the whole person and respect that if one area of their life is off balance then their work will be impacted. When I’m intentional, I create space to offer a listening ear or help when employees are facing personal issues.
As a recovering workaholic and suffering the consequences of burnout and stomach ulcers, I’ve been very intentional about respecting work-life balance at Sigma Promotions. It’s super important to me that my team members “shut off” work at the end of the day so that they can be present with their families, rest and recharge. That being said, I’m imperfect and I can slip in to demand mode when I’m stressed. My ego expects that my team respond to me instantly and when I ask. When I show up as my best self and as an intentional leader, my email goes on a delay to my team, I hold off on the text or phone call and I respect their need for balance.
One of the ways you can be an Intentional Leader is to start each day off mapping out how you want to show up, who you need to appreciate and acknowledge and reflecting on how you showed up for your team. Leaders and teams are loving our Intentional Journals which you can get here: https://www.growwithsigmau.com/books.
As always, I’d love your feedback, ideas an suggestions on this topic! And, hey, while we’re doing our best to show up as the person our team needs, we also need to recognize that we’re human. It’s all about grace my friend.
