False Obligations
I had never even heard the term false obligations until I started studying high performance habits and Brendon Burchard’s work. In fact, the thought never dawned on me that I had been wrapped up in false obligations and the stress that accompanied it!
Let me back up, what is a false obligation? Well, it’s an “obligation” that we’ve created in our minds that requires our immediate time and attention. It’s something we feel guilty about not doing or we sense a loss of freedom of choice in the matter.
Some examples of false obligations include…
- Picking up the phone when it’s ringing
- Saying “Yes” to that coffee or dinner when you really need time alone to recharge
- Responding to a text immediately without sleeping on a response
- Behaving a certain way because of family expectations
- Rushing to visit three households on Christmas day so no one feels left out
- To share private information with people because they are good friends or close to you
- To answer the doorbell when it rings
- Going to family dinner every Sunday because it’s an expectation and tradition
The difference between false obligations and true obligations are that actual obligations are things that we must do which include being a socially responsible citizen, obeying traffic signals, paying our taxes and so on. When we really evaluate our personal lives, we’re often met with false obligations that if eliminated would free us up to lead much happier lives.
Here’s how I deal with false obligations…
- Ask myself if this request is in line with my goals, dreams, and vision for the future.
- Ask myself if this request requires my immediate attention or if it can wait until I’m done work for the day or back at work on Monday.
- Ask myself if I’m creating urgency for this phone call or project or if I’m creating a story that someone wants an immediate response.
- Ask myself if I even must answer at all!
I’m not sure about you but often when I take the time to reflect on these questions, I’ve manufactured urgency and stress that doesn’t need to exist! I’m creating drama or anxiety from a neutral request, email, or text without any real thought.
The key is to slow down your response and reaction time. Assess if you’re dealing with a false or true obligation and then take the appropriate action. The highest performers in the world are aware that time is their greatest asset, and they must protect it at all costs. What false obligation can you release today so that you can focus your energy on your goals, dreams, and visions for your amazing future?
