PAUSE

My coach, Paul, served as a US Mustang Marine in Afghanistan in 2013 and he often weaves valuable insights from his training and service into our coaching sessions.

One thing we discussed recently was reacting when we’re “triggered” and how to slow things downs so that you take aligned courageous action.

In the past, I would say I’m your poster child of a trigger happy individual. I typically ask forgiveness and rarely request permission so slowing things down to pause when I’m upset is still definitely an area of growth for me.

As I was reflecting on my most recent session with Paul, I came up with the following checklist to ensure that I PAUSE before pouncing!

P – Perspective

Am I looking at different perspectives or am I only exposing myself to one narrative? This can be incredibly challenging, especially when we’re passionate about a topic, but it’s critical. We need to look at issues and challenges from others’ points of view, from various sources and then ultimately follow our truth.

A – Attitude

Does my attitude about the situation require an ego check? See, when I get fearful or frustrated I can revert to old habits. My infamous one is using F-U fuel and having a judgmental and rude attitude. Can I change my attitude about the situation even if I feel what’s happening is unfair? What can I control? Setting intentions about how I want to show up before stepping into a potentially triggering conversation is imperative for a successful interaction for me. Believe me, I’m far from perfect and have a lot of growing to do in this area!

U- Understanding

Do I know enough about the situation specifically or am I generalizing? Do I understand both sides with clarity? Am I willing to open my mind to absorb new information and understand at a deeper level? Asking more questions is key for this discovery process. Imagine a world with more curious questions and intention listening?

S – Support Mission

I must take courageous action ONLY if it is aligned with my mission. Some things may be aligned with my core values, my needs, wants and desires but could they hinder my long-term mission? If so, I need to evaluate what I’m willing to risk.  Sometimes I need to refrain, zip it up and quietly wait it out. I need to find other outlets and support systems such as safe people and places for me to lean on.

E – Excellence & Evolution

Does my reaction display the disciplined, joyful, and excellent future self that I’m working towards? Is my response something I would be proud to see published in the newspaper or would I cringe?  When I do take time to PAUSE I see an evolution of my character and discipline that makes me proud.  Do I get it right all of the time, absolutely not! There have been many situations that I’m not proud of. Responses that didn’t display the person I want to be and I’m still a work in progress.

I hope that these ideas provided a new perspective on pausing before pouncing! I’d love to know which concept resonated the most with you and what strategies you implement to slow down your response.