The Power of Presence

Who would have thought that one of the most powerful ways you could get ahead today is to be fully present!

Back when I wrote Relationship ROI, my keynotes were all about being a magnetic person to do business with by giving people your undivided attention. It was true then and it’s incredibly relevant now. We’ve all been on Zoom calls for over a year and I totally get it - fatigue can set in and we’re distracted more now than ever.

The challenge is that when we’re not present, we do more damage than good. I remember several years ago when I trained to be a kids coach for Future Possibilities for Kids. One thing that they taught that has stuck with me is the importance of presence. They warned that if you seem distracted on a phone call, your kid will sense it and probably call you out on it. As adults, we’re not as forthcoming calling it out.  Instead, we proceed with the meeting while others on a Zoom call check their phones, turn their videos off to take calls or write emails while we’re trying to connect. It feels incredibly uncomfortable and it’s distracting and disrespectful.  I’ll be honest with you; I went through a period recently when I did this. I was trying to kill two birds with one stone, staying on top of quick updates from my team while also trying to be fully engaged in an all-day meeting. Not possible. I stopped myself and now set intentions before all of my interactions. So much so that when I’m coaching, I do not look at email for 20 minutes prior so I can be fully engaged and serve at the highest level.

Through my training as a Certified High Performance Coach ™, presence has become so much more to me and its power even more important. I’ve learned that presence is such a beautiful gift that you can give others and that it impacts the level of influence you have.

Deeper Connections for Increased Influence

Think about it this way - if you’re fully engaged and present with your kids after school, you ask them open-ended questions about their day. If your phone is off, the tv is off and you’re sitting eye to eye immersed in the conversation, you connect on a deeper level. When you genuinely seek to hear what they are saying, or perhaps not saying, you make them feel seen, heard and valued. When you hear about their day and ask about their hopes, dreams and ambitions and cheer them on with gusto and vibrancy, they lean in closer. You have a new level of influence because you’ve built this incredibly engaging rapport. When it comes time to challenge them to level up or take ownership or responsibility, you’re on a much stronger footing because they feel that you see them and care deeply. Trying to gain any traction without this foundation of presence is much more difficult to achieve.

Ask yourself:  Who do I want to have more influence with? How can I be fully present and caring in our next conversation?

Lower Stress Levels

By raising your level of presence, you lower your stress levels! How does being present reduce stress? When you go into a situation and you’ve left past stories, mistakes and issues at the door, you can bring a vibrancy to a conversation that you just can’t if you’re stuck in the past. When you leave your worries about future finances, a future conversation, or future outcomes at the door you engage in a completely different way.  You’re 100% “there” and your audience will p pick up on it. You also come across as more professional because you’re able to focus on the task at hand. People aren’t left wondering if you heard them, understood what the expectations were and expectations for follow up from the meeting was because they read your body language. They could tell you were with them fully and completely. You weren’t distracted and as a result you built stronger connections for trust.

Ask yourself: What will I need to leave at the door in order to be fully engaged in my next meeting or phone call?

Get More Done!

In high performance, we also describe presence as being in flow and mindful. One habit you can do to get you prepared for this flow is to set intentions before each major activity. Right before writing this blog post for instance, I went upstairs, grabbed a glass of water and set an intention to provide content that would help someone advance their life. That being said, I turned off all other distractions, closed open windows, turned off email notifications and turned my phone off so that I could be fully engaged and hopefully provide value to you, the reader! Try it the next time you work on a major activity.  Set aside a specific time block, write out your intention for the activity, eliminate distractions and get to work. You’ll be amazed at how much time you can shave off of your schedule when you’re not jumping from task to task. It takes discipline, I know! I’m a recovering 43 tab window browser, but you’ve got this!

Ask yourself: What is my next major move and what intentions will I put to that activity to be fully engaged and give my best work?

As always, I’d love to hear if you have any other tools, tips or strategies for increasing your level of presence with others, feel free to share them below!