Shackles Of The Mind
I recently took a self-defence course which stretched me way outside of my comfort zone and made me reflect deeply on self-imposed limitations.
My husband encouraged me to take the course because I had an incident at eleven years old walking alone that had a massive impact on my life. I’ve been looking over my shoulder for the past 33 years since, and I lost a significant part of my childhood innocence and freedom that day.
When I completed the course, I realized that I gained back a sense of confidence that had been missing for three quarters of my life.
During the weekend course I realized many lessons which I wanted to share with you…
- Discomfort is imperative to growth
I was very nervous about taking the course. I wasn’t sure what to expect, how I would react and if I could overcome deep seeded anxiety when it came to my self-protection. I had to get outside of my comfort zone physically and mentally to reach that next level of self-confidence. When we place ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, that’s where the growth happens.
- We’re shackled by limiting beliefs
On day one of the course, we were taught how to break free from being duct taped and zip tied. When I saw the course instructor get duct tapped my heart started racing. As he started explaining how we were going to get out of being duct taped ourselves I wanted to run from the room. When he moved on to demonstrating how to break free from zip ties, I was ready to climb the walls. When I was told that by the end of day two, I would be able to break free from duct tape, zip ties and handcuffs I nearly passed out!
- We must master our minds
During the first lessons when I was duct tapped, I lost my snizzle! I was frustrated, I didn’t like the sensation of being restrained, it made me sweat, feel anxious and helpless. I hated the feeling and I stopped breathing. I started to panic and cry. One of the instructors came over and talked me through the next steps to take to get out of my situation. It took time but I did it and then burst out crying afterwards. I realized during that time I had forgotten to slow down and breathe. The words we say to ourselves matter. I was looping a negative narrative in my mind rather than trying to think creatively in a steady manner so that I could release myself from the restraints.
- All we need are the right skills
We lose confidence when we’re facing a difficult situation because we lack the skills to tackle the challenge before us. When I reflected on the weekend, I realized that understanding the restraints, how the materials work, how to tactically release myself, it was a skill that could be learned. That was it! And practice of course would help. Each time I was restrained it got easier and easier. In psychology they refer to this as the competence-confidence loop. The more we train and learn and practice the more we do things with ease and the more confident we become. Is there a challenge you’re up against that with a little more knowledge and practice you might master?
- We need to embrace the process
While I desperately wanted to rush through the learning so I could get out of the restraints I now realize the value in embracing the process. Reflecting during the process is critical to the learning. Think about a current process that you’re going through. Is there something in life right now that you just want to be over and done with? Is there a challenge that persists in tripping you up? What about the process are you learning? What are you learning about yourself? Your strengths? Your courage? How can you embrace the process to cement change and level up?
- Freedom Starts in our minds
We will rarely if ever be physically shackled in life but how many of us are consistently shackled in our minds? We tell ourselves that we cannot take on that next big challenge or that we’re not worthy of living an excellent life. We allow the self-imposed limitations to hold us back from trying something new, speaking our truth or making a bold move? Where have you been holding back in life? What would it take to free yourself from the shackles of your mind?
If you commit to trying something new that is going to test you and you’re willing to push through, take it step by step, be open to learning and embrace the process you will come out stronger and more confident than ever!
