Your Circle of Influence and Why it Matters

Your parents were rightly concerned about the shady friends you may have had during your school years. My parents always wanted to know who I was hanging out with and warning me when they felt uneasy about someone’s character. Our friendships and associations have a massive impact on our actions and character. This got me thinking about positive friendships and those associations that achievers look to have. Here are the four P’s to look for…

1. Push You!

Great friends, mentors and associates push you to be a better version of yourself. If you say you’re going to run 5KM and you only run 4KM, a great influencer will hold your feet to the fire. They will make you uncomfortable, so you reach your potential! They will challenge you when you settle for mediocre thinking or goals. They will stretch your current beliefs and replace skepticism with possibility thinking. The wrong person in your circle will tell you that you “work too hard.” None of my successful friends have ever questioned my work ethic.

2. Proud of You

They will push you, but they will also cheer you on and authentically celebrate your successes! The wrong people in your circle will be jealous of your success, question your sanity about your BHAGS (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) and secretly hope to see you fail. They’re keeping score and want nothing more than to see you slip and fall. The best associates are rooting for you! When you have great news, they are genuinely happy and take time to honour you by hearing all about or celebrating with a congratulatory note or toast of champagne!

3. Productive Conversations

Discussions with achievers are typically focused in and around the future. They don’t talk about past mistakes or past victories for that matter. If your conversations with existing friends are always about high school, then it’s time to level up! Achievers want to have deeper conversations about worldviews, culture, travel and excellent books or influencers. They rarely have surface-level conversations or discuss the news.  They may discuss challenges but they are always focused on next steps and possible results. Instead of saying “What’s the worst thing that could happen,” they tend to ask “What’s the best thing that could come from this?”

4. Positive

When you spend time with the right people you leave feeling refreshed and inspired. Think of someone you spend time with who sucks your energy. You know the type; you feel like you’ve run a marathon after spending fifteen minutes with them. What are they typically talking about? Chances are it’s the news or the government or how much they hate work. Achievers hold space for positive conversations. As a result, they tend to be more magnetic to be around. You can’t put your finger on it, but you just leave them feeling energized and excited about life!

Like attracts like, so changing our mindsets to the positive will also attract more of those relationships into our lives. How do you attract the right people in to your circle of influence?