Is it perfection we’re seeking or judgment we’re fearing?

Is it perfection we’re seeking or judgment we’re fearing? 

When I coach clients, we talk a lot about courage. The highest performers in the world seek out ways to demonstrate courage. They take more risks and they are rewarded more often. This doesn’t mean that they do not fail. This doesn’t mean that they don’t get criticized. The big differentiator is that regardless of the consequences, they do it anyway!

It’s interesting that most people want to put on a persona based on how the world ought to view them when, in reality, there are people out there seeking to connect with the authentic you! They don’t want a paired down version of your sassy and feisty spirit; they want all of you, warts and all! 

Will you resonate with everyone? Not a chance! In fact, studies tell us that some people will like us, others will tolerate us, and a group of people will not resonate with us no matter what we do or say. Cool. So, we move on and serve the community we connect with in an authentic way.

When we’re putting ourselves out there, we revisit that video, blog or social post repeatedly before hitting publish not because it needs to be perfect but because we fear criticism. What if you were to upload and never revisit the post again? One of my coaching clients does this whenever she uploads a video from the heart. I love that unique spin. Her thought process is, it’s there to serve and I will not over analyze it to death for fear of judgement. What a refreshing perspective!

Sometimes we can hold back showing up authentically with the people closest to us. We want them to perceive us as having it all together when, in reality, we connect on a deeper level when we share our imperfections and vulnerabilities.

I work with an amazing soul who apologizes when she has a moment of vulnerability. I applaud her openness. It shows others that it’s ok to be vulnerable and it shows us how we can be a support.

I had an amazing call with a fellow High Performance Coach recently. We both shared how we had slipped on some of our healthy habits, and they compounded until we caught ourselves getting seriously off track from our mission of excellence. There was zero judgement, instead an understanding and comradery that would have never been uncovered had we both been guarded and putting up a front.

Are there areas in your life today where you wish you could be more vulnerable? What if you released any perceived judgement ahead of time and decided to move forward anyhow?  As always, would love to hear your views on this topic and ways in which you deal with perfection and judgement.