The Price of Pessimism
What is pessimism? It is a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen. It is a lack of hope or confidence in the future.
I’ve been reading a lot about mindset, the power of the subconscious brain and the science behind just how powerful our thoughts are and the impact that they have on our life and happiness. During a recent Zoom call between family members, it was abundantly clear how pessimism and optimism are powerful opposing forces. While I listened to two people describe the same job, one hating every minute of it, feeling like he was being “used” by corporate evil bigwigs, the other saw the job as quite satisfying. He described loving the freedom of the work in comparison to the chained version that the other family member described. It got me thinking a lot about optimism and pessimism and so I wanted to share the following thoughts with you.
Price #1 – Lower Levels of Happiness
It seems quite apparent that those who choose to remain pessimistic have lower levels of happiness. Yes, I said choose. There are MANY scientific studies and backings to validate that neuroplasticity is the ability to change our brains. It means that, while you may buy in to the notion that your pessimism is genetic, it turns out that our happiness is derived from actionable behaviours. For example, I’ll have higher levels of optimism if I choose to focus on the good vs. the bad. If I look for the best in others, practice daily gratitude and fill my mind with positive things, naturally I will see the glass as half full. If, on the other hand, I take little responsibility for where I am in life, place blame on others or the economy and fill my head with gloomy news stories all day long, I’ll certainly lean towards the negative.
Price #2 – Confirmation bias towards the negative
Unless we are mindful about what we want to focus our thoughts on, our brain will lead to the negative. Science tells us that our brain is always scanning for danger and looking for threats. While this can be helpful in life-threatening situations, it is not so helpful in everyday interactions. When we constantly read the news (which is mostly negative) and listen to talk radio instead of classical music, for instance, our mind will tilt towards the negative. Our brains have confirmation bias so we will look for examples to confirm our thinking or position on a matter. For example, if the news is telling us that unemployment rates will be the highest that they’ve ever been because of COVID, our mind will scan for data to support that fact. It’s interesting, I belong to a peer-to-peer advisory group and I would say that 50% of the people around the table are desperately looking to hire the right people and few are downsizing because of COVID.
Price #3 – Relationships are Weakened
I’m going to “love you for a minute” and be real with you. While magnetic people tend to be positive, open and curious, pessimists tend to repel others. While some may think that pessimism doesn’t impact anyone but themselves and they should be allowed to feel any way that they do (which of course they can), the reality is that they’re pushing people away. If you lean toward being cynical you may have found that you have fewer and fewer conversations with the optimists in your family. If this is the case, they may be mindful that protecting their peace is important, especially during this time. Think about your interactions with others. Do you want to spend time with those who make you feel happier when you leave their presence or those who make you feel like you’ve run a marathon? We should try to leave people better off than when we found them to build stronger relationships!
Price #4- Limited Influence
A set mentality will hold you back from influencing your family and the team that you lead. Very few people want to follow pessimists into battle! They can sense the defeat you feel before they charge ahead. Instead, people want to be led by and follow people who are optimistic about the future. They want to follow those who don’t relinquish control at the first sign of challenge. They want to feel inspired and hopeful that no matter what is thrown their way, they can take action to beat the odds. People often confuse pessimism with being pragmatic. And there’s the good news! Not only can you change your thinking to a more positive mindset, you can ditch the Pollyanna myth and be pragmatic as well. As you dive into the next challenge as a leader, look at the realities of course, but instead of thinking about the worst outcome, think: “what is the best thing that could happen here” and build on that!
The brain is a beautiful, powerful and changeable part of us! It is not set in stone and YOU have the power to change your thinking and your life. I’d recommend reading “Innercise” by John Assaraf for incredible tools and strategies to do just that!
As always, we welcome your feedback and would love to hear hacks, tips and tools on how you have remained optimistic during challenging times!
