Where and how to set boundaries to achieve long-term success

Did you know that the most successful people in the world are firm and vigilant about boundaries? They set boundaries with friends and family members. They set boundaries with team members, and they set boundaries with themselves. They know that boundaries are critical to their focus and success. They have heightened levels of clarity as they approach each day and anything that is a distraction needs to be eliminated. 

High performers think long-term vs. instant gratification. That means they can say no to what's in front of them right now if they know it will not impact them positively for their future long-term success.

Boundaries with Family and Friends

We all have that friend or family member who seems to be consistently operating in crisis mode. They need you and often call during work hours. They have a difficult time regulating emotion so often those phone calls are tear-filled or even manic. High performers must protect themselves from taking on that energy, especially if they’re leading a team.

One of the coolest approaches that I’ve learned has been from Dr. Nicole LePera, author of “How to Do the Work”. She recommends being proactive, rather than reactive. To do so you can set everyone’s expectations up for the day while guarding your time and expressing your empathy and care. I’m paraphrasing but I have used this text,

“Wanted to connect with you and let you know I’m thinking about you today. I’m in back-to-back meetings and will be unavailable until after 5 p.m.  I love you and hope you have a good day.”

It's a false obligation to think that you need to drop everything because your phone rings or a text comes through. Your goals are too important!

Boundaries with Your Team

I used to have an open-door policy and then I found myself at 2 p.m. near tears because none of my critical tasks had been accomplished.  Setting boundaries with your team gives you time to work on those needle moving activities and it gives them an opportunity to use their critical thinking skills to solve challenges on their own. It also gives you increased emotional and mental capacity to show up fully present when you have a scheduled one-on-one, which means your team member feels engaged, valued, and appreciated. Increased productivity, focus and connection, a win-win!

Boundaries with Consumption

The last is boundaries with what we consume as high performers: social media, Netflix, YouTube. In studying the most successful people in the world, I see that they spend very little time with entertainment and consuming and instead they're creating for these platforms. Yes, they indulge in some mindless scrolling, but they typically set timers and set expectations around when to stop. They have the discipline to pull away and feed their mind something of substance or get active so that they have sustained energy to perform at a high level.

What are some of the ways that you fiercely protect your time so that you can focus on your most important goals?