You Are Not a Tree! - 3 Obstacles Keeping You Back from Change

Jim Rohn famously said, “You’re not a tree.”  One of my colleagues says, “Your feet are not cement.” Both mean that you and I can change our circumstances should we chose to do so.

What holds most of us back? Fear of change, fear of the unknown?

In High Performance Coaching™ we dive into the psychology behind what holds most people back. It comes down to three primary things… process pain, loss pain and outcome pain.

Process Pain

What if uprooting my life and moving to another country is going to be painful? What if there’s mountains of paperwork, foreign languages to navigate and massive risk? What if moving towards that degree means that I will step into rooms where if feel unqualified? What if all of the steps involved to move on from this relationship are overwhelming? We can get caught up in the process, the tasks and steps and this is where most of us become paralyzed with fear and don’t move forward.

Loss Pain

What if I decide that in the next twelve months, I’ll become the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. Will I lose a sense of communion with others when I decide to stay home rather than eat out? Will I miss hanging out with friends when I save calories but miss out on memories? Will I miss my old co-workers if I move on? When we focus on what we might lose this can be enough to derail most of us from pursuing our dreams!

Outcome Pain

What if I put in all of this work, make a major life change and I’m not happier after all is said and done? What if the outcome isn’t worth it? This is where many will relinquish control, or rather use this excuse to justify staying where they are.

Instead, what if we asked ourselves empowering questions like…

• “What if the process is challenging but makes me the strongest version of myself?”
• “What if the process introduces me to new relationships and opportunities that bring me an even greater sense of joy?”
• “What if the loss of relationships expose that they were superficial and deeper relationships with like-minded high performers are in store?”
• “What if the loss of experiencing sweet divine chocolate on a regular basis is replaced with feeling the most confident you’ve ever felt in your life?”
• “What if the outcome is fulfilling beyond your wildest hopes and dreams?”
• Lastly, and most importantly, “What’s at stake if you don’t decide to move forward?”