SigmaU Blog

Most conflict arises from mismatched expectations which is why clarity is so critical.  Think about the last conflict you had with a partner or colleague. Chances are, there were misaligned expectations in the relationship. It could be mismatched expectations of communication style, deadlines, how you wanted the other person to engage with you.

In fact, I believe that our inner conflict happens when we have mismatched expectations of ourselves! I’ve spoken about the peace and joy that high performers have when their actions are aligned with their core values. When they are in congruence and showing up as their best selves, or who they say they are, they can be at peace. Inner conflict happens when we’re out of alignment. This inner battle can take place when we have mismatched expectations on where we are in life.

If I always bought in to the notion that I should be married by 25, own a house by 30 and have 2 children by 35 and my life doesn’t represent that...

We’ve all done it! Someone’s behaviour is driving us nuts. Day in and day out it grinds on our nerves. We’re triggered when we see them or hear their voice and yet we do nothing about it! Guess what leaders, you’re not alone! Most of the leaders that I’ve spoken with hate confrontation and, you know what, I did too. It wasn’t until I learned how to have them in a different way that I learned to embrace them and have them on a regular basis. Like any muscle, the courage muscle - once stretched - becomes stronger and it’s a muscle required in a leadership role.

Defining courageous conversions, feedback and confrontation in a different way

Courageous conversations: are conversations which take you outside of your comfort zone. They may make you feel exposed or vulnerable and typically something important is on the line.

Feedback: is simply bringing awareness to a pattern in someone’s behaviour so that they can improve future performance.