SigmaU Blog

Most conflict arises from mismatched expectations which is why clarity is so critical.  Think about the last conflict you had with a partner or colleague. Chances are, there were misaligned expectations in the relationship. It could be mismatched expectations of communication style, deadlines, how you wanted the other person to engage with you.

In fact, I believe that our inner conflict happens when we have mismatched expectations of ourselves! I’ve spoken about the peace and joy that high performers have when their actions are aligned with their core values. When they are in congruence and showing up as their best selves, or who they say they are, they can be at peace. Inner conflict happens when we’re out of alignment. This inner battle can take place when we have mismatched expectations on where we are in life.

If I always bought in to the notion that I should be married by 25, own a house by 30 and have 2 children by 35 and my life doesn’t represent that...

I recently shot a video for LinkedIn about courageous conversations. I had assumed that people knew what I was referring to when I spoke about these conversations and I shouldn’t have. I realized this while I was wrapping up an introductory webinar on high performance and someone asked me to give an example of a courageous conversation.

In the moment, I gave a personal example and shared a story of a courageous conversation I had.  After the webinar it dawned on me that I should not only define courageous conversations but also provide you with some tools and lead-in conversation starters that I have found to be incredibly helpful as I’ve faced these once fear-inducing moments.

Here’s what I can tell you about courageous conversations: they are easier and easier to have as you build your courage muscle!

As a recovering ostrich who would put their head in the sand and avoid confrontation at all costs, I can tell you that I would never dream that confrontation...

Our leadership team had a terrific coaching session with our mentor Rob recently. We talked about the negative impact of leaders ignoring their people. He mentioned that when a relationship gets so broken down, the leader may actually give team members the silent treatment and start avoiding them altogether. What a terrible feeling for the team member trying to navigate their job!

This made me pause and really think about how our actions communicate to our employees that they’re not worth our time. See if any of these ring true for you as a leader or if you’ve experienced this yourself.

1. Constant Rescheduling

Nothing says “you’re not important to me” like consistently bailing on meetings. Obviously, there are some situations in which you’ll need to reschedule. Recently I signed up for a six-week training course. The team was gracious enough to reschedule my coaching with them only to have the course get cancelled. It was a bit of a palaver to...

When I wrote my first book Relationship ROI I focused on the importance of cultivating deep relationships with clients. That transitioned in to keynotes on building great professional relationships and generating repeat and referral business by being a magnetic person to be around. The core of it all was what I call The EVA Principle! Regardless of age, gender, status, it does not matter, people are desperate to feel Engaged, Valued and Appreciated!

While I walked the talk and took The EVA Principle seriously when it came to clients, I ignored it when it came to my team!  I was always so careful to be fully present and to make my clients feel special but had zero relationship with my team members! Thank goodness things have changed and I’ve recognized the importance of having equally if not stronger relationships with your people than your clients.

Here’s how we can display The EVA Principle with our teams:

Be Fully Present

In a world of distractions, this is by far...

The word sacrifice isn’t sexy or exciting for most people but it’s evidence of a highly engaged team! Check out what I mean…

Sacrifice Ego

Team members who are full engaged in the company’s mission and the role they play don’t care who gets the credit for success. They will easily put aside their own time “on the stage” to put someone else in the spotlight. They will also readily correct you if you praise them for something that their team member in fact was responsible for achieving and be quick to give kudos and heartfelt congratulations to other team members. Where there’s engagement there’s low ego-driven behaviours1

Sacrifice Time

Highly engaged team members are willing to put in more time without recognition to make a project come together or to keep a client happy. It means that they’ll jump in the car and personally deliver an order to make sure that the client is happy! It means that if they’re working on...

I’ve had the pleasure of spending the last week training with some of the top coaches in the world! They are also some of the most highly productive and successful people in their field. I paid attention to their behaviours and wanted to share some takeaways that are common with most high achievers!

1. They are open and always learning

It was amazing to witness some of the coaching role-play and practicum assignments between veteran and novice coaches. They all had one thing in common: they have a humble spirit and were open to feedback from their peers. They approached each task with an open mind and were always taking notes and learning more.

2. They’re cheerleaders!!

What an exceptional community of human beings! Not only were they willing to learn from first-year students, but they were genuinely happy for their success and accomplishments. Most successful people do share this trait! They LOVE seeing others succeed. They don’t “wish” they were more...

According to Wikipedia, “Work engagement is the ‘harnessing of organization member's selves to their work roles: in engagement, people employ and express themselves physically, cognitively, emotionally and mentally during role performances.’"^[1]:694 Three aspects of work motivation are cognitive, emotional and physical engagement.^[2]

When I read this definition, a few things come up for me. I’m reminded of the importance of seeing the “whole” person not just the worker bee on my team. I love that this definition includes the emotional and mental expressiveness of importance. Better yet, it seems that equal value is given to each area of the employee’s self. As leaders, we can often forget that optimal performance can only be met when team members are actively engaged in all areas.

Sadly, for many organizations, engagement to them means recognizing a birthday with a digital card, or a work anniversary with a letter from the...