SigmaU Blog

Is it perfection we’re seeking or judgment we’re fearing? 

When I coach clients, we talk a lot about courage. The highest performers in the world seek out ways to demonstrate courage. They take more risks and they are rewarded more often. This doesn’t mean that they do not fail. This doesn’t mean that they don’t get criticized. The big differentiator is that regardless of the consequences, they do it anyway!

It’s interesting that most people want to put on a persona based on how the world ought to view them when, in reality, there are people out there seeking to connect with the authentic you! They don’t want a paired down version of your sassy and feisty spirit; they want all of you, warts and all! 

Will you resonate with everyone? Not a chance! In fact, studies tell us that some people will like us, others will tolerate us, and a group of people will not resonate with us no matter what we do or say. Cool. So, we move on and...

This week I had to display courage in many ways. It took courage to speak my truth when my voice was shaking. It took courage to own my reaction and own the consequences of it – and it took courage to reflect and revisit an uncomfortable situation to move forward.

It got me thinking about courage and just how important it is to live a fully charged and authentic life.  Most of us will run into situations that require courage and, more times than not, we’re not ready. We don’t have our sword and shield up and we’re often blind-sided. What happens, and what happened to me when I wasn’t ready and had my back against the wall, was an instinctual reaction.

How do we know when courage is required?

C – Core Values

When something comes up that conflicts with our core values, it takes courage to speak up. It can be incredibly uncomfortable and even lonely to stay true to your beliefs when you’re facing the majority. But to live in congruence...

When was the last time life blew up in your face? Like really blew up. During that time, did you think “well this is a character-building time in my life” or did you think “holy crap, get me through the next 24hours”?

If you’re anything like me, it’s the latter because it’s hard to see and appreciate the lesson during a storm. It’s often when we’re on the other side of it that we can appreciate that the situation happened to help us, develop us, or steer us on the right path.

I was listening to my coach and mentor today describe a rocky situation in his life. He had just purchased land which was to house his dream home. He sunk most of his savings into it and people told him he even overpaid for it. When he went to start developing the land, he was told that the land was no good for building. He persevered and found a developer willing to literally use dynamite to blow up the existing space so he could build his dream home. ...

There is no victory unless a battle is fought and while we may appreciate and long for easier days, the hard days form us. The hardest of times introduce us to the grit and resilience we’re made of. Without the adversity, we might otherwise never know our next level of strength.

I’ll admit that during the battle, it’s brutal. It’s exhausting and it can be easy to become cynical. I’ve found that this is something I have to be hyper aware of so I don’t slip into a negative space. I’m working on being skeptical instead of cynical.

See, there are several reasons why I could be cynical right now. I’ve had friends let me down, people disappear during tough times, people turn the other way when they’ve seen injustice in my life and people placating me with empty words like… “if there’s anything I can do” and then not do anything to help.

I’ve seen the worst in humanity recently and in my personal life I...

As I was preparing for a group coaching session on the topic of Courage, I had a massive aha moment! This often happens when I’m preparing for workshops and sessions. The very thing I’m preparing for is often the message I need to hear.

During our session on courage, we’ll be talking about why we don't pursue our dreams or chase our goals to our maximum ability. Sometimes we hold back or even self sabotage. Why is that?

In High Performance Coaching™, we know that there are three reasons that hold us back from chasing after our goals and our dreams and having that courage to persist or pursue through something you’re currently facing.

Loss Pain

Loss pain is that sense of fear that stops us because we tell ourselves that by changing, we're going to lose something. We get in our heads and think we’ll lose something important to us. As I journaled about my specific dream, something funny happened. When I wrote down my...

I recently shot a video for LinkedIn about courageous conversations. I had assumed that people knew what I was referring to when I spoke about these conversations and I shouldn’t have. I realized this while I was wrapping up an introductory webinar on high performance and someone asked me to give an example of a courageous conversation.

In the moment, I gave a personal example and shared a story of a courageous conversation I had.  After the webinar it dawned on me that I should not only define courageous conversations but also provide you with some tools and lead-in conversation starters that I have found to be incredibly helpful as I’ve faced these once fear-inducing moments.

Here’s what I can tell you about courageous conversations: they are easier and easier to have as you build your courage muscle!

As a recovering ostrich who would put their head in the sand and avoid confrontation at all costs, I can tell you that I would never dream that confrontation...

What’s “the Suck?”

The suck is losing the big contract that you had your heart set on. The suck is being in quarantine with a limited lifestyle for over a year and counting. The suck is the lost friendship, broken marriage and devastating loss of trust. The suck is working on a project for four months, putting your heart and soul into it and seeing it fall completely flat before your very eyes! The suck comes in various forms and knocks us off kilter in different ways. We all experience it from time to time. Often it hits us over and over again and in business it can leave us feeling lonely and frustrated.

Why it hurts so much!

When we feel like failures and setbacks are coming at us from all sides, it can feel like our world is closing in on us. It hurts when we have finances on the line. It hurts when we show up, give our best and we get rejected. We question our competence and our resilience. I recently went through a massive failure that devastated me and so I...

If you’re a growth-oriented and innovative company then courage should definitely be a part of your culture. It takes guts to be different, to challenge the status quo and to set BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) for your company!

To execute and navigate through unknown territory takes courage and it’s not enough for the leader to be courageous. Courage needs to be woven through the organization.

Show Courage as a Leader

Like most things, courage will require you as a leader setting an example for your team. My old coach Lindsay used to always say “Leaders get the behaviours they display or tolerate.” So how can you be an example of courage? Courage as a leader isn’t necessarily about control or leading the charge. In fact, courage as a leader shows up when you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. When you’re vulnerable by putting yourself out there on social media for example. It’s being courageous enough to admit to the team when...

Oh heck ya! Bring it on! Typically words you do not hear most people say about criticism and, I must admit, I never initially react that way to it.  Like most people, I struggle with criticism which is quite different from constructive feedback. One builds, one destroys. One easy check: is what I’m saying being done to serve the other person or my ego?

Criticism stings and it can tear us down and hold us back from our full potential if we let it. There are, however, some incredible ways to use criticism to your advantage!

Breakthroughs

Upon reflection, I’ve realized that two of my biggest breakthroughs in life have come from criticism. When I wrote my first book “Relationship ROI” I promoted my BAAM series which had a fun and quirky vibe. Many of my photos I was pretending to knock out the competition with a punch move. I had a ton of fun at the photoshoot, launched my program and then WHAM! I was the one sucker punched! I saw a group chat that I...

As a leader, you’re most likely confident speaking your mind and sharing your vision. You are able to make snap decisions and you feel like your voice is valued and heard. Chances are that many people on your team don’t feel the same way that you do. A part of effective and transformational leadership, I believe, is building up other empowered and confident leaders on your team.

Here are a few ways you can do just that!

1. Have Team Members Lead Meetings

When you create a safe space for team members to take charge and lead a meeting you slowly build their self-confidence muscle. I used to think that as leaders we should set the tone, lead the meeting and wrap up in an efficient way.

During our many Zoom calls during COVID I decided it would be a perfect time to enable each team member to have their turn to lead. We’re a tight knit team and I figured that this was a psychologically safe space for each person to “try it out”. I was astounded by the...